SITUATIONSHIP 3 (Stepping Out of Situationships).

“There is a season (a time appointed) for everything and a time for every delight and event or purpose under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted. A time to kill and a time to heal; a time to tear down and a time to build up. a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance. A time to throw away stones and a time to gather stones; a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing. A time to search and a time to give up as lost; a time to keep and a time to throw away.” Ecclesiastes 3:1-6 AMP.

Welcome to another episode of Situation-ship. We have been on this series for a while now and I am sure you’ve been blessed continually through the lessons embedded. So far in this series, we have discussed the concept of situation-ship, how it starts and the usual features that characterize staying in that form of ungodly relationship, either knowingly or unknowingly. In this new episode, we shall be dealing with useful steps needed in stepping out of this unpleasant yoke of situation-ship. Whichever form of ship you might be dipped into, we trust God to instruct and empower you to get out of it, through the words in this episode.

King Solomon in the book of Ecclesiastes, while instructing his readers in the third chapter, stressed the importance of the different seasons that come into the life of every man. There are times we invest our attention and time in building relationships with others, but for some reasons, when we discover it is no longer wise to stay in that relationship, wisdom demands that we also consciously tear it down! Staying in errors and what is not in line with God’s purpose for our lives can be very dangerous. Every second lived outside God’s will can open man up to pain, regret and attacks from the enemy! No matter how far you have gone in the wrong path, the only solution remains retracing your steps back and disembarking on that journey! Two-wrongs don’t turn things right! It is time to let go, it is time to throw away and shift your focus back to God! This is what the journey of this episode is all about, welcome to the fire experience!

No matter how far you have gone in the wrong path, the only solution remains retracing your steps back and disembarking on that journey!

In most cases of wrong relationships, one of the most difficult things to do after realizing that it is a wrong path is making a decision to step out of it. Most young people would first spend extended days and weeks analyzing the possible remedy that could be engaged which would not necessarily see them leave that relationship totally, but rather right the wrong in the other party and get them on the right track. While changing the other party and making them become more suitable life partners is not a bad idea in itself yet, at that point in the relationship when it is clearly known that you are in a situationship, the best decision will always be to first step out of that relationship! So far it did not start with God’s blessing on it, it cannot prosper! God’s definition of a healthy and prosperous relationship for His children is totally different from the world’s view about the subject. To God, man was made to live for His worship. All that man does on earth must bring glory and adoration to His Name, in this regard; man’s relationship! It matters to God who you choose to be in relationship with, at every point in your life.

It matters to God who you choose to be in relationship with, at every point in your life.

On the other hand, the world might tell you that it doesn’t matter who you spend your time with, it is your choice to make, you don’t have to be all tensed up. They can tell you to enjoy your youthful days while it lasts, not knowing that the younger days of a man is meant to be lived in an entirely different way. Man’s morning season of life is a period of sowing! It is the time marked out as the best period to sow the seeds of virtues on which your entire life would be built! Rather than walk in the counsel of the ungodly, it is a season you must trust God to bring you into strong circles and company of His children through which you can be groomed and protected for His usage in the later seasons of your life. Who deceived this generation? Who made the youths believe life will always be easy and full of days of glory and splendor, irrespective of the decisions you make in your early days? So, whose report will you believe? If your life goal is to live for His glory, then you cannot stay in situation-ship. You must let it go!

When we fail to define our relationships with the opposite sex, we open ourselves up to abuse, mistreat and unimaginable future heartaches that could be truly avoided.

The moment it is clear that what you are having with other person in that relationship is situation-ship, initiate a conversation to discuss the issue. Tell the other party “We need to talk!”. This statement will propel the other person to begin to wonder what is going wrong about the relationship. Others might not really sense trouble coming but whichever case it is, ensure you declare that you need to discuss with the other person. Set up a conversation and clearly address the relationship straight into it, ask questions about the definition of the relationship you are building together. What are you guys really doing? Who are you to yourselves? Are you just friends, dating partners, friends with benefits, or you are in assumed courtship? Most times, it is always at this point that many questions about the blurry boundary lines will begin to pop up especially in the heart of the person that is more concerned about the relationship. When we fail to define our relationships with the opposite sex, we open ourselves up to abuse, mistreat and unimaginable future heartaches that could be truly avoided. Develop the habit of declaring the level of friendship you have with everyone. Ensure you are the one determining the extent to which other people have access to you and get close to you. In that way, things will not get out of hand. Also, at this stage, once it is clearly seen that the relationship is out of place and is not heading to any known destination, do not give room for patch ups and consolation talks that will make you see the possibility of things working out under an assumed relationship umbrella. Walk out of it! Whatever remedy that might want to be provided at that point might only last for a while before you both return to the old ways. Be firm and intentional about defining the relationship and coming out of it when needed.

The longer you stay inside wrong relationships, the farther away you are from God’s original purpose for you concerning your relationship.

Furthermore, be ready to let go. Make a decision to stand for purity in your relationship with the opposite sex. The bed must be undefiled. Fornication is a terrible sin against God and your body. Whatever relationship you are keeping with the opposite sex which opens you up to emotions and romance outside the confinement of courtship leading to marriage is not God’s will for you; run for your life! The longer you stay inside wrong relationships, the farther away you are from God’s original purpose for you concerning your relationship. The enemy’s strategy in keeping you away from God’s will is to make you busy staying with the wrong person, while thinking you are enjoying the moment. Also, it matters who you open up to, at this stage. Ensure you open up to mature minds and godly spiritual leaders that will not mince words in revealing God’s plan to you concerning your relationship. Seek for trusted specialists or counselors that have proven results in handling relationships and then trust God to use them to help you. Don’t get counsel from your sinful and naïve friends like Rehoboam did and ended up trading away the major portion of his God-given royal destiny. Be true to yourself, seek for help where it can be gotten the best, not those that will encourage your already blurry enterprise. Do not allow the fear of being corrected or reproved to lead you into dying in silence. Staying in silence will only further stall God’s plan for your life as it will not yield any positive result. Encourage yourself to speak out and get all the help available so you can successfully get out of the situation-ship and move into God’s will for your life. Seeking and getting help when needed is not a sign of weakness but wisdom. Be wise.

Do not allow the fear of being corrected or reproved to lead you into dying in silence.Seeking and getting help when needed is not a sign of weakness but wisdom.

In addition to what we have learnt above, believing youths must ensure that they are not controlled by their emotions. God gave us emotions; it is an essential faculty in our soul makeup. It is what we use to relate with the needs and happenings in our world. Nevertheless, our emotions weren’t made to control us and be the driving force behind our actions. There are three levels of perception that believers are exposed to through the authority of the scripture; Emotion, reasoning and discernment. Of all these three, emotion is the lowest level of perception. Scattered through the pages of the Bible are stories of men and women that allowed their emotions to get the best part of them and we all still read about the consequences of those actions. Samson allowed lust to lead him to the place of his destruction, Delilah being the chief instrument used. Our modern day Samsons and ladies of virtues must learn to tame their feelings. You don’t have to act on that emotional drive to flirt with a man just because of some hormonal reactions in your body system. Be in charge of your emotions, constantly place yourself under consecration and avoid walking in the company of youths that don’t share this same conviction with you. Intentionally place yourself inside vows and constantly remind yourself of those vows as they will structure how you live your life especially at this stage of your journey.

The more a man can yield to the Holy Spirit for guidance and help, the more access to supernatural help he will receive.

Finally, constantly submit your emotional life to the Holy Spirit. Youths must learn to report cases to the Holy Spirit through constant communication at all times. It helps in shaping the right way to address emotions when it starts shooting up. Giving more room to the Holy Spirit in your life cannot be overemphasized. The Spirit of God will only stay and operate in the areas of your life that you open up to Him. We are meant to surrender our ALL to Him so He can direct every aspect of our lives. Living according to His guidance and direction is the antidote to stumbling into situation-ships. The Holy Spirit will always troubleshoot any forthcoming pitfalls in our journey so as to prevent us from falling into it. The more man can yield to the Holy Spirit for guidance and help, the more access to supernatural help he will receive. You don’t have to journey alone through this hazardous world, let God walk through you. So far in this episode, we have been able to give workable way out of situation-ships and how best to prevent it from happening in the first place. It has been an amazing journey all through this series till this point. In the final episode of this series coming up soon, it will be an exclusive post dedicated to handling questions that are often asked about situation-ships. The right answers will also be provided for each question. So, if you have questions concerning any area of this topic, send a WhatsApp message or SMS to this contact: +2348147874384 or the email in the contact page of this blog. You can also drop your questions in the comment section of this post. We will gather all the questions together and address them in the next post. Stay blessed!